27 April 2006

Strange Days

People who don’t live in Los Angeles, or California for that matter, often ask me what it’s like out here. Well, there are times I wish I carried a camera around all the time, or had a camera phone. Because the stuff one sees in a week around this city is enough weirdness for a whole year just about anyplace else. And it’s not the overt whack-job channeling George Patton on the street corner. It’s more of a mellow, do-your-own-thing, weirdness.

Here are some things I’ve seen from just the last few weeks.

  • I’m grocery shopping at Trader Joes. This very hassled looking fellow is racing around picking up a few things. He has two cell phones attached to his belt, like six-shooters. Attached to these are two over-the-ear headsets, one per ear. The question isn’t just: “Is that level of technology integration necessary?” … it’s also: “Why didn’t you leave that stuff in the car while you shop so you don’t look like such a doofus?”
  • Leaving Trader Joes now … it’s pouring rain out. As I’m leaving the store I see a very attractive woman getting out of her Jaguar. Despite the downpour, though, she’s still wearing very expensive looking 6-inch stiletto pumps.
  • Driving down to visit my client in Beverly Hills I see a completely obnoxious car. It’s a Rolls Royce … a classic Silver Cloud. With 19-inch spinner rims. Lord.
  • Ten minutes later on that same drive I see a Bentley which looked to be from the early 70’s in a driveway. Up on blocks.
  • Walking down Hollywood Boulevard. I see a Lamborghini Countach stopped at a light, waiting for it to change so he can make his left onto Hollywood. Silver. Gorgeous car. The light changes and the owner guns it in 1st after he makes his left. Then he misses the 1-2 shift.
  • Taking a walk in my neighborhood in Glendale. I see two people walking in the same direction but on opposite sides of the street. One is an elderly gent who must be in his 70’s. He’s wearing sport jacket and using a cane. The other is a young black kid doing that Gangsta walk … pants hung low on his hips, hand in his pocket on his balls, rolling his hips with each step because he’s, like, cool. The funny thing is … they’re bothing moving at the exact same speed down the street.

Yup … LA is a strange place, alright.